Mind Manipulation
Exploiting The Vulnerabilities Of People: Gaslighting 101
Techniques used to influence or control someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors
Psychological Vulnerabilities
Over-conscientiousness
People who are much harder on themselves than on others often are too willing to give another the benefit of the doubt and see their side of things while blaming themselves for hurting the manipulator.
Low Self-esteem
People who struggle with self-doubting, lacking in confidence and assertiveness, or chronically unsure of their right to pursue their legitimate wants and needs. They are likely to go on the defensive too easily when challenged by an aggressive personality.
Over-intellectualization
People who believe that others only do hurtful things when there's some legitimate, understandable reason for manipulation. They might delude themselves into believing that uncovering and understanding all the reasons for the manipulator's behavior will be sufficient to make things different.
Dependent
Dependent people need to be loved and are therefore gullible and liable to say yes to something to which they should say no.
Immature
Has impaired judgment and so tends to believe exaggerated advertising claims.
Naive
Cannot believe there are dishonest people in the world, or takes it for granted that if there are any, they will not be allowed to prey on others.
Impressionable
Overly seduced by charmers.
Trusting
People who are honest often assume that everyone else is honest. They are more likely to commit themselves to people they hardly know without checking credentials, etc., and less likely to question so-called experts.
Careless
Not giving sufficient amount of thought or attention to harm or errors.
Lonely
Lonely people may accept any offer of human contact. A psychopathic stranger may offer human companionship for a price.
Narcissistic
Narcissists are prone to falling for unmerited flattery.
Impulsive
Make snap decisions.
People Pleaser
The desire to consistently strive to satisfy others, often at their own expense.
Approval Addiction
Addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others.
Emotophobia
A fear of negative emotion such as anger, frustration, or disapproval.
Pushover
A lack of assertiveness and the ability to say no.
Dissociative Identity Disorder
A blurry sense of identity with soft personal boundaries.
External Locus Of Control
The belief that outcomes of events are determined by external factors such as luck, fate, or the actions of others. They often feel that they have little control over their lives and that their success or failure is largely influenced by external circumstances.
Altruistic
The opposite of psychopathic: too honest, too fair, too empathetic.
Frugal
Cannot say no to a bargain even if they know the reason it is so cheap.
Materialistic
Easy prey for loan sharks or get-rich-quick schemes.
Greedy
The greedy and dishonest may fall prey to a psychopath who can easily entice them to act in an immoral way.
Masochistic
Lack self-respect and so unconsciously let psychopaths take advantage of them. They think they deserve it out of a sense of guilt.
The Elderly
The elderly can become fatigued and less capable of multi-tasking. When hearing a sales pitch they are less likely to consider that it could be a con. They are more likely to give money to someone with a hard-luck story.
Manipulation Techniques
Fear-Then-Relief
This involves causing someone significant stress or anxiety and then abruptly relieving that stress, making them more likely to comply with requests.
A stranger might scare a mall shopper by touching their shoulder, then reveal themselves as a blind person asking for the time, and finally, someone else asks the shopper to buy and sign postcards for a charitable cause.
Social Exchange
This technique involves providing someone with a tangible or psychological reward and then using that as leverage to get them to comply with requests.
A co-worker might remind you of past favors they've done for you and use that as a reason to ask for favors in return.
Foot-In-The-Door
This method starts with a small request that is easily granted, followed by a larger request.
A panhandler might first ask for the time and then ask for money.
Guilt-Tripping
Emotional manipulators might make someone feel responsible for their unhappiness to get what they want. This can involve exaggerating contributions to accumulate social credit, pressuring others into feeling obligated.
"It’s alright, I know you’re always too busy for me. I’ll just have dinner alone then."
Mirroring
This involves mimicking the behavior or preferences of another person to gain their trust and control.
A partner might claim to love the same things as you to win your trust.
Exploiting Emotions
Manipulators use emotional tactics, false information, or strategic deception to gain an advantage in negotiations.
A partner might claim that if you truly love them, you would agree to their demands without question.
Isolation
By limiting exposure to alternative viewpoints, manipulators can make their message more convincing. News channels and political parties often repeat a consistent message to reinforce their point.
The abuser might control the victim's social activities, such as whom they see, talk to, and where they go, thereby limiting their access to others. Isolation can also include controlling what material the victim reads or watches and insisting on knowing their whereabouts at all times.
Numbing To Violence
Numbing to violence makes it harder for the victim to recognize and react to abusive behavior.
The media can numb people to violence by showing extreme violence in TV shows and justifying it as a storyline.
Love Bombing
This tactic involves overwhelming someone with attention, compliments, and praise to gain their affection or trust quickly. Once the target feels special and loved, the manipulator uses this bond to control them.
Moving the relationship along more quickly than expected, such as saying "I love you" very early on or making plans to move in together.
Reverse Psychology
This strategy involves suggesting the opposite of what one wants to encourage the person to do the desired action.
A parent tells their child that they definitely wouldn't like a particular food, which often makes the child want to try it.
Negging
This is a subtle form of undermining someone's confidence by giving backhanded compliments or mild insults disguised as compliments.
Saying, "You’re pretty cute for someone who doesn’t take care of themselves," can make the person feel insecure and seek validation.
Trolling
This is when an online user deliberately baits a response by using inflammatory, irrelevant, or disruptive language to provoke emotional reactions or heuristics.
Posting or commenting online to deliberately upset others, often by provoking an argument or emotional reaction, making someone question their own reality, or intermittent reinforcement, where partial or intermittent negative reinforcement can create an effective climate of fear and doubt.
Discrediting
This tactic focuses on dismantling the public credibility of one’s opponents rather than addressing valid claims or accusations. It exploits how a person’s credibility hinges on trustworthiness and competence.
A propagandist uses nationalism or fear of a foreign country to discredit any information coming from other countries.
Lying By Commission
Someone deliberately makes a false statement or provides misleading information with the intent to deceive. This type of lying involves actively saying something untrue rather than omitting the truth.
A teenager who has been told they are not allowed to hang out with a particular group might lie about their whereabouts.
Lying By Omission
This is a subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth. This technique is also used in propaganda.
Telling your partner you just got out of a long-term relationship without mentioning it was a marriage.
Denial
Manipulator refuses to admit that they have done something wrong.
Someone might deny that they have a substance use disorder because they can still function and go to work each day.
Rationalization
Rationalization is a manipulation tactic where individuals justify their inappropriate behavior by providing logical explanations, often to avoid guilt or responsibility.
A manipulator using denial and rationalization by minimizing the harm of their actions, saying something was only a joke or a misunderstanding.
Selective Attention / Inattention
Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from their agenda.
Manipulators can exploit a victim's vulnerabilities, such as a fear of negative emotions or a need for reassurance, to keep the victim's attention focused on the manipulator.
Diversion
Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic.
A manipulative person might accuse someone of being overly sensitive or trying to start an argument when confronted about their behavior, thereby shifting the focus away from their actions to the perceived behavior of the other person.
Triangulation
Triangulation is when two people disagree, and a third person gets pulled in to sway which side “wins.”
A partner or friend using another person to create drama or pressure someone into doing things they wouldn't otherwise do.
Evasion
A common tactic used by manipulators to avoid responsibility and deflect attention from their problematic behaviors.
When confronted about their behavior, a manipulator might feign ignorance or claim they do not remember the incident, effectively evading accountability.
Covert Intimidation
Manipulator putting the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats.
When a manipulator uses veiled threats to put their victim on the defensive, making them feel like they are being watched and judged.
Shaming
Manipulator tries to evoke a feeling of shame in the target.
If someone has an insecurity about their weight, a manipulator might make shaming comments about that topic to keep the person beneath them in order to retain control.
Vilifying The Victim
A maniuplative tactic here the manipulator portrays themselves as the victim and the real victim as the aggressor. This tactic is often used to confuse the real situation and make the victim feel guilty or responsible for the manipulator's actions.
A manipulator might say, "I’m the injured one and you’re the cause," thereby playing the victim and vilifying the real victim.
Playing The Victim
Playing the victim is a form of mind manipulation where an individual exaggerates or fabricates their suffering to gain sympathy, avoid responsibility, or manipulate others. This behavior often involves blaming others for personal problems while refusing to acknowledge one's own role in a situation.
Someone might exaggerate their suffering to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or to gain support from others.
Playing The Servant
Playing the servant role as a manipulation tactic involves cloaking a self-serving agenda in the guise of a service to a more noble cause.
A manipulator might say they are acting in a certain way to be "obedient" to or in "service" to an authority figure or "just doing their job" to hide their true intentions.
Seduction
Manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and give their trust and loyalty to the manipulator. They will also offer help with the intent to gain trust and access to an unsuspecting victim they have charmed.
A man who is insecure about his masculinity would love to hear how he looks like a “tough guy.” A flatterer could pretend they were a little afraid of his intimidating presence. Or if it's a girl who is insecure about her weight, if you were to call her mamacita or “little mama” and be able to pull it off, she might be drawn to you.
Projecting The Blame
Manipulator attributes to others what is going on in their own mind.
Narcissists may accuse others of being unfaithful when they themselves have cheated, or they might blame their partner for their own emotional distance in a relationship.
Bandwagon Effect
Manipulator comforts the victim into submission by claiming (whether true or false) that many people already have done something, and the victim should as well. Such manipulation can be seen in peer pressure situations, often occurring in scenarios where the manipulator attempts to influence the victim into trying drugs or other substances.
A certain type of clothing might become trendy after being worn by celebrities or influencers, leading many others to follow suit.
Brandishing Anger
Manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock the victim into submission. This can involve using rage to create a sense of fear or urgency, making the victim feel compelled to comply with the manipulator's demands.
A manipulator might yell or display extreme anger to overwhelm the victim emotionally, causing them to give in to avoid further conflict or to appease the manipulator's anger.
Feigning Innocence
Feigning innocence is a manipulation tactic where a manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they did not do something they were accused of. They may put on a look of surprise or indignation to make the victim question their own judgment and possibly their own sanity.
In a relationship, one partner might feign innocence if they are accused of a wrongdoing, such as withholding affection or being unfaithful. They might act shocked or hurt by the accusation, suggesting that they did not mean to cause any harm, and thereby making the other partner question their perception of the situation.
Feigning Confusion
The manipulator pretends not to understand something to evade responsibility, manipulate a situation, or delay a response. This tactic is often used to avoid answering questions, deny knowledge, or frustrate others into dropping an issue.
A manipulator might feign confusion to avoid answering difficult questions, deny knowledge, or frustrate others into dropping an issue.